Read that again, because it changes everything.
The puffiness wasn't fat you couldn't beat. The drainage wasn't fake.
You weren't lacking willpower.
Every method that failed you failed for the same boring reason: it was a faff, so you stopped before it could work.
Take away the friction, and the thing that was true all along finally gets to happen.
One tube, one minute, no setup.
That was the whole secret. It was never about trying harder. It was about finally being able to keep going.
Easy to do when you wake up, before you get your kids ready for school, before you have to go to work.